Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011: Farewell

Happy New Year to all.

In the tradition of the SGU, I'd like to make some predictions for the new year in order to promote skepticism. Skepticism is an important thing; it's the basis of science. I believe in science. It's the best approach to life I know. The thing is, there are a lot of cranks out there taking people's money and calling themselves psychics. Typically, psychics employ one of two strategies (if not both): 1) they make generalizations that can apply to anyone, all based on individual interpretation (think astrology), or 2) they make a shitload of predictions knowing that the ones that are wrong will be eventually forgotten while the ones that "hit" will justify them as psychics. So the predictions I make are an attempt to put on the psychic hat and make it into a dunce cap. But if I get good at this, I will start charging people money to have their fortunes read. It's only right.

And it wouldn't be a NYE post without some resolutions. I will share my writerly resolutions with you all, as opposed to more personal stuff.

In terms of what to expect in the following year from me, your humble writer, I'll probably sell 3-6 short stories, 4-8 poems, and 1-2 novel(la)s. Stay tuned. (I realize that is an old obsolete expressions. But it still sounds cool.)

2012 Predictions:

  • Realistic - The world won't end. Ok, too easy. Besides, I'll look pretty stupid if I'm wrong. Instead: a powerful earthquake (at least 7.0 on Richter scale) will rock a Pacific island nation (say, Tuvalu - who gives a shit about Tuvalu, right?) causing substantial loss of life and property damage.
  • Taking a Chance -  Another nuclear meltdown. Where? Let's say: East Asia. Why? No reason.
Celebrity Death:
  • Realistic - Lindsay Lohan. You know why. (Last year I thought it'd be Steve-O, from Jackass. It was Ryan Dunn. I was close. I know we all wished it was Steve-O.)
  • Taking a chance - Jerry Seinfeld. I don't why. He's gotta die some time. (Last year I guessed Arnold Schwarzenegger. While he was definitely in the news, it wasn't what I had hoped for, or his wife.)

Writerly Resolutions:
  • Write 
    • 3 short stories
    • 2 novel(la)s
    • 2 poems
  • Read 
    • 3 novels
    • 4 short stories
    • 10 poems
  • Buy
    • 15 books
(Keep in mind, these are minimum quotas - I almost always exceed these. I wrote six poems for 2011, for example. (I'm principally a fiction writer.) Also, I do not believe in setting resolutions that are out of my control, such as: publish x short stories. I think this is actually not a good mindset to have since the quality of one's writing will likely suffer in order to reach one's publishing goals. Instead, I focus on writing and submitting year-round.)

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